Saturday, April 4, 2015

happiness - lies

12:25 AM 11

happiness scares me.
its short-life feeling seduces me into this illusion
where such bliss, does exist.

i was blown away by this amusement.
where i could laugh off my worries 
where i could smile over little silly things
where i could secretly hope this hour will never end.

i never believed in happy ending.
never was, never will.
but, when i am happy, i'll try my best to keep the moment alive
for so long, i wish it will be eternal
but life never seems to go that way

behind this contentment, there's always a broken heart,
wishing to be mended
but is ready to be punished again
and sorrow then awaits
and such grief will haunt my days all over again
although, "happy" starts to show her existence
this scar, may not heal.

there are just pieces of me
who want to believe that joy is purely goodness.
but some believe it is the deed of evil
whose mask is stay hidden til time explodes every inch of its lie.

it's tiring.
what's the meaning of a smile,
if in a second it may turn into a tear?
what's the use of a joke,
if it's just to cover up the ugly truth?
what's the use of an uphill battle,
if no one's going to stand there to celebrate the triumph?
what's the use of this life then?

i'm sorry.
but i'm giving up.

and how i wish i can have faith
in this thing called