my very own first love

first love...
i believe everyone has their own stories
and, now,
i'm going to tell you, my story

it's not really interesting actually
just a couple sentences which will not amaze you
as i have a pretty standard story, i suppose
but then, i have nothing to write though
so, here it goes...

when i entered elementary school
and i stepped on my second grade a guy has captivated my eyes
and his smile, oh geez
it was the funniest smile i've ever seen
and, oddly, i fell for that

so, this guy was practically perfect
he had a cute face, smart, and popular
and many other young girls did love him
and i was one of them

i liked him
but, i wasn't one of those creepy fans of his
i liked him
but, i didn't stalk him, like what those girls did
i liked him,
i just liked him :p

well, i didn't know exactly how the story starts
but, as far as i remember
i start liking him after he called my name
and joked over it
i was mad indeed
but after i saw him laughing and smiling
which really amused me
i think, i started to like him

there was no love scene happened between us
we just love to make problems
and fight together until people think we were nuts
it was fun actually
but, haha, very childish, don't you think?
well, i thought
every little ones express their loves like that, huh?
fight over something unimportant
and keep finding problems problems problems
to attract their love ones

so, we passed our years by kept fighting
which actually coloured our days
i, honestly, felt something was missing without him
and nothing could replace his presence in my heart
i didn't really know what was controlling my mind
until i realized,
i was madly in love with him

time flies,
another summer day came and another year started
this last year, my 6th year
we spent together being friends
odd it is,
we could laugh like all friends did
though we've been enemies for the last 3 years
as i spoke to him
i fell deeper for him

however, though we became friends,
i must say, this was my toughest year i've ever been
he fell for my best friend
and i couldn't resist saying no to match them up
so, yeah, i helped him getting the girl he liked
i felt kinda hurt actually
but, i was happy as long as he was happy
hahaha, weird, isn't it?
an 11 years old girl could say such thing like that
i fooled myself
when i said i was happy
my heart tickled
it was really tough for me to say
"good luck! get your girl!"
but, hell yeah, i said that

so, i gave him up
i knew, my feeling won't be reached
no jealousy, though
no hard feelings
i just learned how to let go
so, long short,
we stayed as friends in the end
and he didn't know how much i really liked him
i didn't regret not confessing to him, really
but, i just felt
how pathetic my first love was
i pity myself, haha.

yeah, my first love did end like that
and a few tears did drop at my last day seeing him
"nah, i could handle it"
again, i fooled myself
so, there he was,
there "my 4 years crush" was
flied away into the sky
and now, it turns to be a bitter memory...




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